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The five Types of Girls You Should Avert Dating
"So let me get this straight…" I interruption letting the information sink in while I sit down down on my faded, tan couch. I exhale loudly into the receiver of my cell phone and spit out the gist of the tale he just recanted. "She broke into your home, has threatened to cut you lot in the past, and y'all're pretty sure she stole your dress?"
"Yeah," my old roommate mutters sheepishly, "Yous were right about that military machine/crazy thing."
"Oh, this has nothing to with the military…." I say equally I imagine a immature woman with a vendetta breaking down a door and stealing my clothes. "This chick merely happens to be certifiably nuts."
There's silence on the end of the other line. I can't tell if he's injure or if there's simply nothing more to be said. I don't do awkward silences well, so I ask the adjacent question that pops into my mind.
"Then, why'd you stay with her and then long in spite of all the crazy?"
But the question to that answer, I already know.
Years ago, I would have no place telling yous the types of girls to avoid dating. If y'all're thinking all girls are crazy, remember that men can likewise possess very toxic qualities that should be avoided. Every girl on the list below I dated a few times over and ignored the warning signs that read "Full on Nuclear Meltdown Alee: Beware." But I was also the bozo most girls should have avoided (great slice by Meagan Prins), so I reaped some of what I sowed. However, I'm a business firm believer the all-time advice comes from the people who've had life kicking the trash out of them due to their poor mistakes. So here are mine (and perchance yours) to help you lot identify some of the dating landmines you might exist ignoring.
SMEAGOL
In JRR Tolkien'south ballsy trilogy, The Lord of the Rings, we're introduced to a character named Smeagol. Smeagol used to be a hobbit — a somewhat dwarf-like humanoid race that has large, hairy feet — merely discovers a ring of power that quickly poisons his mind and has him get obsessed, leading to the infamous catchphrase, "My Precioussssssss."
Much like Smeagol, some women go obsessed and possessed with their boyfriends. It starts off innocently enough, wanting to spend time, getting to know one another, and humorous little jabs about how we're "missed" when we're gone more than a few hours. This volition quickly devolve into her spending every waking second wondering why you haven't called or texted, berating you because your lack of time together shows you "don't really care," and noticing she's merely ever happy when you're around. You've become her i band to dominion them all and it's poisoning not merely her, but you lot too.
If a woman doesn't have friends outside of the time she spends with you, it tin be a potential alert that y'all might be headed towards dating Smeagol. In every healthy human relationship I've had (including my wife), we spent fourth dimension away from ane another and engaged with our community of friends. Our lives didn't revolve effectually each other, and we were much healthier for it. Happy marriages are also reported to part best when both partners tin enjoy time apart without having to entertain the other. Inevitably, what will happen if your life revolves around another person is that feelings of resentment will build. Shame will pitter-patter into the relationship considering both people feel their needs aren't being met, and eventually, a co-dependent relationship will blossom in which each person'south happiness is centered solely on whether the other person appears happy. Mt. Doom might just be the choice you demand to dissolve this relationship.
THE DRAMA QUEEN
I dated a girl once whose life was a constant crisis. The shop was out of her make-up. Crisis. Ane of her sorority sisters borrowed her shirt, and it stretched a little. Crisis. At every turn, it constantly seemed like the earth was out to get her. Her family, friends, teachers, or maybe a waitress at a restaurant or flight attendant. Everyone was always doing her wrong. The world was out to become her. If yous're asking yourself why girls are so dramatic, consider request yourself how you may be playing a role. Equally her boyfriend, I might besides have been feeding gasoline to the fire drama considering I was a source of the crisis as well.
Over time I recognized something almost people whose lives seem full of drama. The mutual theme that emerged was that everyone seemed to be doing them wrong. It didn't only extend to women, but many young men as well. The problem wasn't that the world was out to get them. They were the problem. At the source of drama is typically a victim mentality and the reason why they cull drama varies. They feel their life is boring and uninteresting, and so they create drama for the appearance of importance. They gossip to get reactions or make themselves feel amend.
When confronted, the drama queen will almost always attack some other person's character flaws instead of looking inward, thus never having to bargain with why they thrive on drama, to begin with. This is a defense mechanism they use to avoid the difficult work of looking introspectively and discovering that just maybe the reason why they create drama is that they feel they take no purpose or drive; to acknowledge that and give up drama means they have no purpose or importance in this world and that's terrifying.
In truth, the constant source of crisis in their relationships isn't other people…it's them. Don't end up a puppet in their tragedy.
Full general PATTON
In the book Love and Respect, a poll constitute that 75% of men would rather be solitary and unloved than disrespected in a human relationship. The way men sympathize love is through respect ( A caveat , a man should be worthy of respect. It shouldn't simply be granted to him. Aforementioned for women). There is nothing worse than a woman who disrespects her man publicly and continually belittles and emasculates him in front of others. Every guy knows a friend in that type of relationship and feels sorry for him. His daughter runs his life and anytime he makes a slight error she jumps downwardly his throat. He is nothing more than an accompaniment she keeps on a leash.
Sadly most men these days don't atomic number 82 with gentleness, humility, and selflessness in their relationships, which is why there's and so much misogyny prevalent in today's club. Oftentimes, a young woman will have been wounded by an immature young man, and to protect herself volition become General Patton. She'll lead the relationship through the gates of hell and when he doesn't autumn in line she'll be the one barking orders, inevitably becoming the very thing she despised in the man who wounded her. This type of woman will terminate up running your life while you're left to catch shrapnel in the trenches.
THE Business firm OF CARDS
If you lot've ever seen a house of cards put together, you know that something as light as a feather can apace brand the stacked deck of cards crumble. In the same respect, I dated a few women whose entire (perceived) globe would crumble when an expectation wasn't met, or an innocent annotate became Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds. At that place'due south goose egg incorrect with being sensitive, information technology's just when that sensitivity tin can ruin an entire day from something every bit seemingly harmless equally stating, "I desire to spend fourth dimension with y'all and know we had plans simply need to spend some fourth dimension with my family this weekend." Disappointment is fine in a situation like that, but pouting, back-handed comments, and general irritability may tell you that you take a Business firm of Cards on paw. The underlying problem backside the Firm of Cards is that her foundation is shaky and in reality, everything revolves around her needs. You must walk on eggshells to keep the house from collapsing, then you end upward meeting her needs while none of yours get met. This leads to bitterness, so when the cards finally exercise plummet you're the bad guy. The truth is that if everything circles around their needs and wants the relationship is selfishly one-sided, and no matter how advisedly you step, sometimes life'south gusts of current of air tin can take out the House of Cards.
SUGE KNIGHT
If y'all've seen the movie Straight Outta Compton or keep up fifty-fifty a modest chip with the hip-hop earth, you know that Suge Knight is characterized as an evil rap mogul who offers you a sweetness deal only to lure yous into a contract you desperately desire to escape.
A lot of girls can easily complain almost a man who leads them on and continues to string them on by whispering lucrative chances at romance only to go out them romantically bankrupt. Merely the same is true of some women. Like Suge, she'll cutting your heart in a dorsum alley and go out you to bleed out. She isn't interested in a long-term human relationship merely wants the side by side best, upward-and-coming thing in her life. You were the flavor of the month last flavor and if you somehow produce some desirability within the level of Dr. Dre'due south The Chronic she may just come up running back. But you'll go left heartbroken and bleeding again.
This is the one I see well-nigh happen to men these days. They meet a girl, hook up, and get infatuated because of the early promises she made. Then when she bolts, they're left depressed and assertive she was the only ane for them. But when she shows back up offer another "sweet record deal" they're all too quick to forgive and before they know it are left bleeding again on the Sunset Strip from a drive-past heartbreak they didn't see coming. Have a look at her runway record. If she has a rap canvass of breaking hearts (particularly yours) she'due south gonna do it over again.
THE Chat YOU SHOULD Accept
The daughter you're dating may display some of the qualities listed, and that may worry you lot. Rightly so. Left unchecked they could develop into a full-blown version of the types of women y'all don't desire to engagement. Truth exist told, my wife showed a lot of the elements of the House of Cards when nosotros outset started dating and was overly sensitive which atomic number 82 to some nasty fights. I was also entirely insensitive and could crush her feelings because of my own graphic symbol defects and merely blamed it on her existence sensitive. A lot of our issues stemmed from poor advice. I didn't know how to explain that she was beingness overly sensitive and how it was affecting our relationship. I was afraid that if I did communicate that, she'd become even more overly sensitive! She didn't know how to communicate I was beingness insensitive for fear of me bravado upwards and becoming more draconian and sharp with my words. Thus, the vicious bicycle continued. Information technology wasn't until we cleared the air and began to communicate that things began to modify.
WHEN TO RUN FOR THE HILLS, AND WHY Yous WON'T
If you end upward having a hard conversation, approach her gently and with care and concern, but if it but turns into fights about what you're doing wrong and how y'all're the one always causing the damage in the human relationship then it's time to head to Mt. Doom. It'due south time to loosen the noose of drama, build a firm on a business firm foundation, demote Patton, or break up with your record exec. The person you're dating at present is the person they'll exist later if they refuse to work at the relationship, and that's not the type of girl y'all want to be dating anyway. Run for the hills.
But beware. Many men will non. The reason my old roommate stayed so long in a subversive human relationship is the girl was really good looking and he was comfortable. Many men, sadly, will brand excuses for a beautiful adult female even if her character and personality brand Playdoh more appealing to date. Men are visual, and I completely understand why they hold onto a beautiful adult female or someone they run into as "out of their league." But a trophy girlfriend is a poor substitute for a vibrant relationship. They may look pretty on the shelf, but outside of that, they bring little value besides gathering dust in a chiffonier. And if you've grown comfortable in your relationship information technology'due south similar to stagnating water. Information technology'south only a thing of time before the flies gather to further pollute it.
Don't settle for the trophy. Fight for the freshwater. It'll be worth the wait and your fourth dimension in the long run.
Source: https://blog.heartsupport.com/the-5-types-of-girls-you-should-avoid-dating-231ed4f2f1e5